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hardcore swiftie
(a little less) slowly descending into madness
raging feminist

Message to Readers

Wrote most of this last year, please don't judge how awful this is.

Dork Diaries Movie (for my little sister... the dork ((hehe))

April 6, 2020


“DORK DIARIES THE MOVIE” flashes on the screen, then we fade into scene one….

Scene 1

Open on a girl (Nikki), walking into an ice cream shop, looking around, and there stands Brandon, holding a big purple box addressed “To: Nikki”. Then the screen starts to pull back, revealing it’s just Nikki daydreaming in a classroom on her desk. The dream bubble suddenly pops when we hear a loud school bell. Nikki snaps to her senses and grabs her belongings and runs out. In the hallway we see two other girls (Chloe and Zoey) quickly join Nikki.

Nikki: Chloe, Zoey, what assignment was Mr. Charr talking about? (Turns to face Chloe)

Chloe: Ummm, I don’t know, I wasn’t listening (shrugs shoulders and looks at peach pink phone) OMG!! Nikki!! (Faces Nikki with a huge grin) The new ice cream shop, Sprinkles and Strawberries is having its grand opening tonight!!! We should so go!!

Nikki: (flustered look on her face) I’d love to, but I have to watch Brianna, maybe if I ask Mom, I can take Brianna over to Mrs. Wallabanger’s house, and she can play with Oliver. 
Zoey: I hope, I’m NOT missing the grand opening of an ICE CREAM SHOP, I mean, come on, it’s ice cream! Your mom can’t say no! 

Nikki: Well, she can say no, and you all have met my mom, she doesn’t have a soft spot for sweets (slumps down as the friends walk down the hall and out the door) 

Chloe: But Nikki, it’s almost your birthday, treat yourself some! (All the girls get on the bus) 

Nikki: You’re right! (Sits on a seat with Chloe, Zoey sits across from them) I am going to go to that opening, weather Mom lets me or not! (Smiles) 

Zoey: (looks out the window, then back at Nikki and Chloe) So I guess we’re all going to get ice cream tonight!! (Throws fist in the air enthusiastically) I could really use some sugar!!
Bus driver: Nikki, Nikki Maxwell, we’re at your stop. 

Nikki: (gets up and gathers all her stuff) I’ll see you guys tonight! (Waves at Chloe and Zoey) Bye!
Scene 2

Nikki: (walks up to house, and gets the key out from under a rock then opens the door) Brianna, I’m home! (Looks around, listens, nothing) Brianna! It’s too quiet, I know you’re up to no good! (Listens again, nothing, starts up the stairs) Brianna, if you’re on my phone, I’m gonna be mad!! (Comes upon the bathroom door, opens it slowly) Ummm (looks around)

Brianna? We’re are you? 

Brianna: Nikki! (Yells from another room) Nikki! Nikki, come here!

Nikki: (runs into Brianna’s room and stops quickly) BRIANNA!!! What are you doing?!?!?! 

Brianna: (talking in a sassy British accent) Nikki, dahling, how are you? 

Nikki: Oh no, no no no! Not Madame Bri-Bri!! (Face palms)

Brianna: Oh, dahling, you don’t seem very happy to see me! (Crosses arms) 

Nikki: That’s because the last time Madame Bri-Bri was here, she cut off my hair!! (Puts hands on hips) 

Brianna: Well, I, hmph! (Sits on her bed with her arms still crossed) Mrs Penelope, we...

Nikki: That’s what I thought! (Walks out of Brianna’s rooms with her head held high, starts muttering to herself) stupid

Brianna, stupid Mrs Penelope, argh!! (Enters her room and flops down on her bed, picks up phone and goes onto a group chat with Chloe and Zoey, then the screen divides into thirds) 

Nikki: hey guys. Brianna’s soooo annoying she’s bugging me soo bad!!

Chloe: it can’t be THAT bad! 

Nikki: that’s like saying frogs aren't green!!

Zoey: lol Nikki! I’ve been with Bri before, she’s not horrible!

Nikki: seriously!?! Come on guys!! Maybe I forgot to tell u MADAME BRI-BRI was back!!

Chloe: ok, THAT'S bad!! remember when she cut off your hair?!?

Zoey: omg yeah, that was AWFUL!!

Nikki: oh I gotta go, Mrs Wallabanger is knocking, fingers crossed!
Chloe/Zoey: bye Nikki!

Scene 3

Mrs Wallabanger: (knocking on the Maxwell’s door) Hello, Nikki!

Nikki: (opens the door with a sweet smile) Hi, Mrs Wallabanger! (Gestures her inside) How is Oliver?

Mrs Wallabanger: Oh, he’s doing great, how’s Brianna? (Sits on the couch)

Nikki: She’s doing well, I was wondering (smiles cutely) if Brianna was able to come and play with Oliver?

Mrs Wallabanger: Of course! (Gets up) Oliver would love to see Brianna, he’s been wanting to have a friend over!

Nikki: oh yay (jumps up and walks over to the stairs) Brianna! Mrs Wallabanger is wondering if you wanna come play with

Oliver. (We bear Brianna running downstairs) 

Brianna: Ok!! (We see Brianna coming down from the steps holding a Princess Sugar Plum Baby Unicorn) 

Nikki: (grabs Brianna and shoves her out the door behind Mrs Wallabanger) Bye Bri-Bri (smiles widely) Thanks again Mrs Wallabanger!! (Closes door when they leave, then pulls out her phone. Screen divides into three parts again, so we see Zoey, Chloe and Nikki) 

Nikki: hey hey girls!! Bri just left so I can come!!

Chloe: soooo when should we leave? 

Zoey: could we go now?

Nikki: I’m good to go now

Chloe: me 2

Nikki: see you there!! (Screen goes back to normal, Nikki puts her phone in a mini backpack then runs out the door) 

Scene 4

Nikki: (we see Nikki walk into an ice cream shop) Hey guys! (Waves at Chloe and Zoey as they walk in) 

Chloe/Zoey: Hey Nikki! (Chloe, Zoey and Nikki give each other hugs.

All girls: (walk up to the counter and grab a cup, then head over to the ice cream machine, then get some ice cream, then walk up to the counter)

Nikki: (Grabs a spoon out of the holder, then takes a bite) Yum!! This is sooo good!!

Chloe: (licks her spoon) I know!! It’s soo good!! 

Zoey: Yeah, I got vanilla and M n M’s

Chloe: I got chocolate and cherries

Nikki: (swallows then speaks) I got marshmallow and marshmallows!

All girls: (they all laugh, then sit down at a corner booth) 

Chloe: (turns to look at Nikki) Sooo, Nikki, hows Brandon?

Nikki: (face turns bright red) uhhhhhhhh….
(Starts twirling her hair on her finger) How should I know?

Zoey: Well, never mind that, where are you going to have your birthday party? (All girls eat more ice cream)

Nikki: I don’t know, I was thinking it’d be cool to have it at the pool, or I could have it here! (Gestures around her)

Chloe: That would be neat, I was thinking it would be fun to have it at that cool arcade place

Zoey: (interrupts Chloe) or at Queasy Cheesy,

Nikki: (interrupts Zoey) Queasy Cheesy?! Zoey, really?! (Being sarcastic) Yeah, Queasy Cheesy would be a great place for my 13 birthday party. What says birthday more than creepy animatronic singing rat staring at you while you eat cold pizza with what I hope is pepperoni on top?!?! 

Chloe: (eyes wide) Jeeze Nikki, take a chill pill! It’s your birthday, you can choose where it is. (Looks at Zoey) 

Zoey: (looks at Chloe) yeah, Nikki, you do know I was kidding, right?

Nikki: (facepalm) sorry guys, I guess I just went a little coo coo crazy. (Puts hand back on the table) I just need an ice cream break.

Chloe: (pats Nikki on the shoulder) it’s ok Nikki, we all go a little bonkers sometimes!

Zoey: (places her hand on Nikki’s other shoulder) Yeah, just take the Mad Hatter from Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland, he was the most bonkers, or mad, of them all!

Nikki: (laughs) you’re both right, now, who wants refills? (Holds up her empty ice cream cup, then all the girls get up and run to the ice cream machine)

Scene 5

We see Nikki, Chloe and Zoey walking on a sidewalk, they’re talking.

Nikki: (we hear a ringtone, Nikki looks at her phone) Oh crud!! I forgot about Brianna!! (Nikki puts her phone in her pocket) I’ll see you guys tomorrow at school!! (Nikki runs off as Chloe and Zoey exchange confused glances, then they walk the opposite way as Nikki)

Nikki is still running, then we come upon Mrs Wallabanger’s house, she runs up and tidied herself up, then knocked on Mrs Wallabanger’s door. 

Nikki: (knocks on Mrs Wallabanger’s door, Mrs Wallabanger opens it) Hi Mrs Wallabanger, thanks again for taking Brianna, was she good? 

Mrs Wallabanger: Oh, yes! Brianna is soo sweet, Oliver had a wonderful time playing with her!! I hope she can come again sometime! (Mrs Wallabanger gestured Nikki inside, Nikki walks inside) 

Brianna: (Brianna is holding her unicorn, with one of Oliver’s action figures riding in it) Go Baby Unicorn, go save Batman!!

Oliver: (holds batman up on one of his toy boxes) Mwa ha ha! You’ll never get Batman back!! (Oliver holds Joker out and evil laughs again) 

Brianna: (makes Baby Unicorn fly up to joker and Batman) 

Oliver: Oh no! (He holds joker, and grabs Batman, then makes them run) Baby Unicorn is catching up!!

Brianna: ( Baby Unicorn is on the toy box along with joker and Batman) I got you Batman!! Joker, go away!!

Oliver: (makes joker run away and makes Batman run towards Baby Unicorn) Yay! Baby Unicorn, you saved me!!

Brianna: (looks over and realizes Nikki is watching) umm, yeah, no problem Batman! 

Nikki: (walks over to Brianna and Oliver) hey guys! I heard you were playing with Baby Unicorn and Batman, that’s cool (walks over to Brianna and takes her hand) Brianna, what do we say to Mrs Wallabanger for letting you play? 

Brianna: (turns to Mrs Wallabanger) thank you for letting me play! 

Mrs Wallabanger: oh, of course! Anytime you and Oliver want to play, just have Nikki ask!

Nikki: thank you again, Mrs Wallabanger! (Her and Brianna walkout the door waving) 

Nikki: (grins maliciously and looks down at Brianna) Brianna and Oliver cutting down a tree, with B-I-G-F-O-O-T…

Brianna: (face turn in red) stop!!

Nikki: first comes the drizzle…

Brianna: (fists clenched) stooop!!

Nikki: then comes the rain…

Brianna: (very angry) Nikki, DON’T!!!

Nikki: (evil laugh) next thing ya know, we’re poppin champagne! Because it’s your weeeddddddiiiinggggg!!!! (Does Cheesy jazz hands as Brianna starts shaking)

Brianna: (fists clenched so hard she’s starting to shake) Nikki!! I’m not gonna marry Oliver!

Nikki: (stretches all of her words out really long) oohhkkaayy, wwhatevver you say!! Brianna's in lloovvee!!!!!!!!!!!

Brianna: (crosses her arms, then punches Nikki in the arm) I don’t lloovvee Oliver! I don’t even like Oliver! He’s a yucky boy, I don’t want to kiss a yucky boy!! Even if he’s not yucky, I wouldn’t kiss him!!

Nikki: (shrugs like she believes her) oh, alright Miss To-gross-for-a-kiss, I was just joking Bri-Bri.

Brianna: (still all clenched) Whatever Nikki, I only went over there because Mrs Penelope wanted to see Mr Buttons! When you left, they talked for a while, then Mrs Penelope recommended we save Batman, I didn’t care, so Baby Unicorn and Mrs Penelope saved him from that joker poop-head.

Nikki: (laughs) ok Bri-Bri, I trust yyoouu. (Stretching her words out again) 

Brianna: stooooooooooop (pouting)

Nikki: Alright, alright. I’m done. (Walking ahead Brianna)

Brianna: (catching up to Nikki) 

Scene 6

Nikki: (sitting on her bed, staring at the ceiling, talking to herself) Birthday, birthday, birthday, where to have my birthday? (Starts listing ideas on her fingers) Sprinkles and Strawberries, maybe. The pool, possibly. Queasy Cheesy, noooooo! That arcade place, meh. Uuuuuuugh!! (Shoves her face in a pillow) I don’t know! 

Brianna: (walks into the room looking super cute) heeeeey, Nikki, how’s it goooooing? 

Nikki: (looks at Brianna, not believing a second) What did you do, or what do you want? (Nikki folds her arms and looks at Brianna) 

Brianna: (clearly scatterbrained) Oh, uh, nothing, just, uhmm, wondering how you are? (In a hopeful tone, praying Nikki doesn’t ask anymore questions)

Nikki: (obviously over this) ok. Then you can just GO AWAY! (Nikki points to the door, Brianna walks out)

Brianna: (runs out frantically)

Nikki: (confused, but soooo done, lies back on her bed and continues listing places on her fingers) The Cupcakery, that wouldn’t be so bad. At home, nooo way, Brianna would ruin it by having Mrs Penelope sing the Rihanna’s remix of Row, Row, Row Your Boat, so noo!!! (Shivers) hmmm (eyes widen and Nikki jumps up) …… squeeeee!!!! I have the BEST idea ever!! (Screen divides into 3 parts as Nikki pulls out her phone)

Nikki: omg! I had the best idea 4 my bday!!

Chloe: what is it?

Zoey: ya! Tell us!!

Nikki: ok! So u know that pottery place? 

Chloe/Zoey: yeah?

Nikki: I could invite like five people, and we could paint our pieces of pottery!!

Chloe: that’d be pretty fun!

Zoey: ya! It’d be torture trying to choose between all those cute sculptures to paint!

Nikki: uhhhh… ok? (Screen goes back to normal)

Nikki: (mumbling to herself) so if my birthday party will be on a Saturday… then I could have Chloe and Zoey over to stay the night.

Brianna: (running into Nikki’s room, obviously out of breath) NIKKI!!! NIKKI!!! MOM SAID COME DOWN FOR DINNERRRRRRRR! (stands still for a few seconds) Nikki? Come on… it’s time for dinner. (Brianna walks downstairs) 

Nikki: (turns off her phone and runs downstairs) 

Scene 7

Nikki’s Mom: (sets a tray on lasagna in the middle of the table, then sits down) So… (turning to Nikki) How was your day? 

Nikki: (rolls her eyes) it was fine, Mom. 

Nikki’s Mom: (turns to Brianna) Bri-Bri… how is Oliver doing?

Brianna: (face turns BRIGHT red) Uhm… he’s good. We played with Batman and Baby Unicorn. 

Nikki’s Mom: (smiles) That’s… (pauses briefly) nice. (starts talking to Nikki’s Dad, having a conversation)

Nikki: (SAYING THIS IN HER HEAD) so… where was I? (pauses) Ah! Yes! Chloe and Zoey, birthday party, sleepover. Dance theme? No, too glittery. Swimming theme? No, too*” (Nikki’s thoughts are interrupted by Brianna)

Brianna: (pulls at Nikki’s arm) Nikki. Nikkiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. (whines)

Nikki: (Snaps arm away from Brianna) Stop it!
This isn't totally done, but my sister loves these books so I'm writing this. I'm going to finish it later, but I'm posting it now requesting FEEDBACK!!!! (Also I wrote most of this last year so please don't judge how terrible it is)


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  • April 6, 2020 - 11:49pm (Now Viewing)

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