Peer Review by Anna A. (Philippines)

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Out-of-date thinking

By: Extraordinary me


FREE WRITING

As you are a girl, you can't talk loudly.
As you are a girl, you can't laugh freely.
As you are a girl, you can't fight with anyone.
As you are a girl, you can't meet everyone.  

As you are a girl, always put smile on your face.
As you are a girl, always wear a veil over your face.
As you are a girl, always bear everything.
As you are a girl, always consider yourself as a servent.  

As you are a girl, you can't study higher.
As you are a girl, you can't be hyper.
As you are a girl, you can't play outside.
As you are a girl, you can't go on the ride.


Peer Review

First, your title hooked me into reading this poem. Not only does it make readers thirst for more, but it also describes the poem well (without spoiling it). Keep it up! The first two lines were also fantastic. You described the social rules that govern women's lives and used anaphora impactfully.


I would like to know your motivation behind writing this. The theme was heavy, but you portrayed it (realistically) without making the poem too depressing. Though, I suggest ending the poem with a "tone" (ex: sad, hopeful). How do you feel about the issue? What do you do about it?


Reviewer Comments

Dear writer,

This poem had a fantastic theme! I love your bravery in talking about heavy topics. Keep writing! You are an inspiration and advocate for women around the world.