Takomet

Philippines

Solitude isn't all that bad, right?

January 24, 2023

FREE WRITING

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"No man is an island" Everyone is part of a community whether they are aware of it or not, some may be alone but they are never truly alone in life, despite of that the feeling of loneliness always clouds the mind, and the fear of being alone and left out strikes the heart like a thunder hitting a tree, destroying self-esteem and all the hope a man has.  

In our current generation, we see Isolation in a negative sense, we connect this word to the state of being alone, a state of social life that we interpret as lonely  and painful, a feeling that makes us feel like everyone has allied together and has turned against us and that there is no more hope and that there is only loneliness and suffering. And along these emotions is the narrative of rejection that we are deserving to be isolated, that we did something bad and we are deserving to be left out and that we are alone in this world with no one to rely on.  

On the other hand, solitude is practiced by the minority, those who are able to harness it felt a lot more satisfied in life, In one TEDx talk, by Robert Waldinger, has taught me how to appreciate the people around me even if in small numbers, he also stated that the key to a happy life is the ability to keep good people around you and to have a great relationship with them, and this is achieved through solitude, I know it is contradicting as it sounds but hear me out, solitude gives us time to reflect on the things around us, giving us the capability to see things in a different spectrum.

  "Choose your virtues and values wisely; find those who appreciate your essence in life and as a person, for they will come in times of conflict." During my senior years, I find it exhausting to interact with my classmates I was always that one kid who sits at the back of the room reading a book and has no one to talk to, I tried my best to interact with them, but my interest and theirs are different, some of them even find me intimidating. I hate school, I never liked it since my senior year, but little by little, I was able to join groups in our class and learn something about them, group to group, I interacted with them, trying to find where do I really fit, but in the end I was never satisfied with the outcome, days passes by the more lonely I felt. One evening, contemplating into the silence of the night I asked the question, what is solitude and loneliness? And with hours of thinking I came up with a conclusion, Loneliness is an emotion, it is normal for a person to feel it in fact, each and everyone of us at some point of our life already felt lonely. Although loneliness is an emotion it cannot be considered as a good one, for it constructs a wall like narrative that prevents a person from going in and out due to the fear of being rejected and lonely thus they keep themselves in their self made bubble where they believe that that place is safe and free from the pressure of society. Loneliness is an emotion that should not be neglected it, for it can cause bigger problems when left untouched. Solitude on the other hand is quite different, it is not an emotion but is an option rather a choice, a choice to be alone and feel more emotion than one can experience. In our current society isolation is seen as a negative feeling but in fact it is quite the opposite, It is something that everyone should practice. Being alone through solitude is a good practice compared to the latter, solitude is like that one hard pill to swallow for a better self, it will taste bitter at first but with proper dosage it will taste like the sweetest honey at the very end. There's nothing wrong with being alone or in solitude, but we must be aware that being alone through loneliness is destructive not only for the person but also for the people around him.

        No one deserves to be alone, but everyone deserves to be in solitude. I encourage everyone to do their best to think through loneliness.

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